The SAH Club

Here's some back story:
Last year my husband finished medical school and we relocated so he could begin residency.  I had been teaching a Preschool Intervention Class in the public school system of our previous home, and worked with children and parents that I love and dearly miss.  Our move came at a difficult time for the school systems of South Carolina - budgets were being cut and jobs lost.  Although I applied for several jobs in the public and private sector there were simply no jobs to be had.  In the middle of this job search, we found out about a new addition to our family in the form of a positive pregnancy test!  Our budget was missing my income, but I knew I wanted to stay home with my baby.  At that time we found out that my husband's boss was looking for a babysitter 3 days a week and I jumped on it!  It wasn't a high-paying job, but it was low-stress and provided a cushion for our income, and kept me busy during Josh's long hours as an intern.  There were just two children - I would pick up the 3-year-old from preschool at noon and her 7-year-old brother would come home at 3.  The children were enjoyable and the parents were easy-going employers.  After Bowen's birth in February the family asked me to come back and gave me as much time as I needed before returning.  I took 8 weeks, returning in April with my babe in tow, and worked until a couple weeks ago.  This is where the story gets a bit complicated so I'll just sum it up quickly: I voluntarily gave up my job due to a change in the family dynamics.  It had been building for some time, and although I am happy to be available for B "full-time" I am missing the fact that I had a job and an income. 

Does this mean I am now officially a member of the SAH club?  That my days are strictly filled with the drudgery of laundry, cleaning, snotty noses, dirty diapers, and the monotony of routine?  I find myself wondering who I am now that I can not claim to be a part of the work force.  I feel almost embarrased when people ask politely, "What do you do?"  A question in our culture that is synonymous with WHO ARE YOU?  Um...  I don't know!?  I used to be so proud to say "teacher".  Now, when I say "mom", I find myself gauging their reaction - do they approve?  feel sorry for me?  look horrified or resentful?  But really, why do I need their approval?  I LOVE being a wife and mama.  I like spending my days chasing my crawler from room to room, washing his diapers, nursing him to sleep, reading to him and playing on the floor with him, catching his sly smile as he reaches for the outlet... one more time, and smothering him with kisses any time of day - just because.  I am admittedly not the best housekeeper or cleaner, but I do enjoy the work that goes into caring for a home - dishes stacked in the cupboard, clean sheets on the bed, a freshly mopped kitchen, a fridge full of good foods to be cooked or baked.  It's more fun to be with baby than it is to clean, but I do provide my husband with a comforting place to land after a harried day of work, a listening ear for his discoveries about medicine or some bit of knowledge he gained, and the time that I wouldn't have if I was planning lessons and attending PTA meetings - or even babysitting.

So, ask me any time and I'll tell you - with pride and gusto - yes! I am a full fledged, card-carrying member of the SAH club and proud of it!!!  My worth as a person isn't dependent on a job, an income or even the status of my family.  My worth is secure in the grace and love of a King who reigns in a place I call my true home.  I'm looking forward to what the future holds - creating memories, encouraging creativity, providing learning opportunities, and relying on grace to keep it all together.